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Welcome  profile 
In Life, everything that money can settle is not a problem. For everything else, they're just facts that we need to face. , kim Tagboard archives April 2004 May 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 November 2009 June 2010 affiliates charmain Benson Pauline Xiuli Candy Denise Five to Spare Xuemin Aining Joel Cheryln credits skin by: Jane |
Monday, February 28, 2005 @ 8:33 p.m.
i wish it was a dream... n no one can ever wke me up.. went to sch todae, n was late.... as usual la.... but i too 99 to sch todae, suppose to be faster.. but that dumb bus driver, go toilet, den make veryone wait 4 him.. grr... waste my time sia... den bout 10 smth went 4 break, den was hungry as usual.... so we all went to the atrium n bought toast... hahahhaa... den when we were inside splash n toking bout elmo, i juz look out, n i see him there!!!!!!!!!!! omg!!!!! such coincidence..... hehehe.... din call him la... den went out n sat that the table there, waiting 4 loycus.... den i want to buy carrot juice... hahhahah... den saw him there again... hehehe.... so i said hi lo.... den asked wads he doing there..... so wadever wadever la.... small conversation... its so amazing in life, when i r at the verge of giving up, u see the person u hope to see the most... den ur feelings go back to square one.... my fren told me that the reason i donot have any interest in other guys is because i never let myself down to accept others.... is that true??? i dunno... but wadever.... i do wadever i like, n no one can make me do wad i do not like.... i really hope im in a dream where i can be seeing him anytime i wan, n dun wake me UP!!!!!!!! Sunday, February 27, 2005 @ 2:27 p.m.
this is suppose to look like me.. but i cant do wifout the specs, cos i will look awful.... so this is the best i can go... hope it looks okies??? kekkkeee @ 2:17 p.m.
i guess i was too happy on friday to thanx someone very very much.... thanx ben!!!!! not benjamin, but ben.... anyways, thanx so much 4 the support that u've given.. i trully understand wad u were trying to say, n i really appriciate that we might not noe each other well, but the things that u siad, n the encouragement is more den wad i tot i would get....n do take care of urself too!!! Friday, February 25, 2005 @ 9:08 p.m.
yeaH!!! supoer high noW!!!! after quite afew negative posts, here comes a positive one!!!!! lets start from yesterday.... i woke up at bout 9.30... den prepare myself, den went swimming at bout 10smth.... n i went swimming ALONE!!!!!... HAHAHAHA.... it seems very lonely la... but its really fun lo... u dun have to wait 4 anyone... dun have to care bout anyone!!!! den i swam all i can.... i wanted to get back to my tip top stage, where i can complete a minimum of 60 laps in 1.5 hr... but well, i haven been swimming 4 some time, so i onli can do 48 in 1.5 hr... thats kinda slow... but nvm la... den i rush back home, n back to sch... pass some stuff back to my sis, den went to do my project... i think im getting on well wif it.... seems like things can be done well, if i juz sit there alone, n concentrate... den went 4 the FOP meeting..... omG!!!!! its so tiring... i have to do so many things n its by next thurs!!! where got time?!?!?!?!?! that seetoh r... always like to stress us.... n SEETOH SHEE WHYE!!!!! IM WRITING THIS TO SHOW U!!!!! hahaha.... hope all goes well 4 the camp... really wan to do smth gd out of it.... hope can la.... kekeke... todae trained 4 the project nutZ.... its really nutZ lo... wad campus relay... run run run... i haven been running 4 some time le lo... how to get back my sec sch standard??? todae run 1.5 round, den my leg pain le.... omG!!!!! how how how??? haiZ.... nvm la.... when the thing comes, den let it come bah.... we ended up playing bball.... hahaha.... its really fun, cos so long never really play until sweat until dripping wet lo.... den went 4 test.... here come the high part.... i saw elmo todae!!!!!!!! hahahahaa.. saw him at cantten 2.. but din wan to go n cal him... tot he will still be ard... but i saw him take bag n leave, den i sian 1/2 le.... tot thats it le.... den i become damn sian.... like no mood to do anything le.... wan go training, also like no energy le... feel like going home.... hahhaa... den still went to run la.... den play bball... blah blah blah.... den went to atrium... wan to go 72 take exam le... den i saw him inside splash!!!! hahahhahaa..... i was so damn happy lo... den i was thinking of going in anot... den i decided.... now or never.... hahaha... so i walk in, n said hi!... hahaha, den he gave that very shock look... den scan me up n down.... den say long time no see.... i said ya.... den i asked a dumb qns.... wad u doing here??? hhahhaa.... thats really dumb... cos he told me buy drinks la... hahahaa den he told me that i look prettier n prettier.... wahahhahaa.... im so damn high lo.... den i juz told him i gtg... den i left.... hahaha... that smile hasnt left my face until now... kekekeke... hope it wont go away.... its a spoilt bus, but no other bus can be better den it.... no other bus can make me think like that... kekeke..... but maybe if a realy better bus comes by, i will still chang e bus de... kekeeke.... im smiling... so hard, but my face is still not tired... kekeke... Tuesday, February 22, 2005 @ 11:09 a.m.
us wif xu qi at the sch atrium!!!!! she is S0o0o0o prettY!!! Monday, February 21, 2005 @ 10:38 p.m.
wtF!!!!! i feel like a clown in this world.... a clown that is juz a object 4 entertainment... a clown wif no life, no dignity, n no pride.... wash away in this world of horror, a world of evil, n a world of emptiness... hu will ever ever think of me as a person wif life??? im juz a clown that is onli there 4 entertainment... the onli person hu will look 4 me, is the circus master. looking 4 the clown to perform.... im juz that.... i've alot of frens in my life..... its onli 17+ 18 years, n i agree i have alot of fren.... but which are the ones that will stay by me in times of need???? i dunno... really really dunno... they are juz ppl hu come to me when there is a need..... when help is needed... if i disappear one day, hu will miss me?? none, i garantee.... y not??? cos once again, im not important... words 4 others, are words 4 me... my family will miss me, cos the noise everyday is gone... wad bout the rest??? its no diff.... juz a day thats going by.... im living my life so painfully.... i feel like a person that ppl use to hurl verbal insults at.... izzit my fault that im like that??? i can take jokes, but plse dun go overboard, cos even the best person can get angry, n im not perfect!!!!! of cos i will get angry... but when izzit a time 4 me to release my emotions??? never! when im angry, im treat as a joke... when im serious, im still treated as a joke.... when am i gonna ever be treated seriously? when i get ard in that PMS mode??? its gonna work awhie... onli until my PMS mode go away, cos after that, that episode is treated as a joke all over again... im so sick of this life.... maybe wadever info i have, i should juz share wif myself... since no one listens... n when they spot a mistake, the blame is not on me... i really feel like crying out loud... asking some crazy god to save me... but i guess crazy god is taking a break now... i feel like crying.... i really do... but my tears juz wont come out.... internally, i cant take it anymore.... my heart feels like its broken into a million pieces, n nth can get them back together.... i feel like hiding out.... until i feel better.... really, n seriously, i feel happier at home.... i never felt like that b4... sch use to be fun to me... now, its a chore... i can picture the anticipated things thats gonna happen.... the words tahts gonna be use on me, and the tone im getting.... im a ger too!!!!!! not all gers are feminine.... pls treat me as one.... ive experience all kinda insults since young, n i've chage alot.... leave some pride dignity, n face 4 me.... Thursday, February 17, 2005 @ 8:39 p.m.
heyA!!!! haven blog 4 some time.... n during this sometime, things do happen.... i really wonder, if in life, things happen 4 a reason, due to wad we have done... i do believe in retribution.... but izzint it happening too soon?? i admit i was a naughty ger when i was younger... very very nottie.... but dun do that to my family.... its like breaking making us feel so sad... y??? 7 years ago, my dad internal bleeding in the stomach... he onli had 1/2 of his blood... now, its coming back... not enuff blood... he needs blood transfusion, yet he doesnt want it... so his going 4 a scope... if its bad, he might have to be admitted.... also dunno how la.... im getting on n off a mulfunction bus... its stuck at the same spot 4 some time, n hasnt moved.... i went on n off it, trying to get it started, but its not moving at all.... den i change route... i boarded other buses, but i tried to go long, yet im not following my brain.... brain tells me that i gotta take this bus, cos it brong me to somewhere nive... but my heart tells me that i still wans to go to that old palce on the spoilt bus.... is that really wad i want??? read jy's blog... at library incident really made me think all over againi feel 4 a hug from him... but im hoping 4 an impossible... i told myself im gonna move on, but i din't... wads going to happen to me?? i really dunno.... wadever i ever hope 4, never came true... but i never gave up hope.... i tried again n again.... yes, i never denied that im stubborn, but im flexible tothe sroundings... i swear to wadever, i tried my best... but still, wadever crazy god there is, its not helping me... izzit retribution?? i hope not, cos i never harmed others... i onli harm myself... its so tiring getting on n off buses that stop by... gradually, i stop boarding them... i told myself im not going to reach my destination on them... den i reject the buses that comes along... i've been told im too difficult to please.. but im juz getting the best 4 myself!!!! is that wrong?? i look 4 the best so much, that i 4got the 2nd best.... wad bout detour?? i 4got bout them.... never tot bout them again.... im i realyl so hard to please??? i hope not... really wonder wads important??? frens, family or love..... to me, at this very momnt, nth is important.... frens r superficial.... families are fake... no truth, n love??? it give u heartache... wads the point??? the point is dun fall in love..... Tuesday, February 15, 2005 @ 2:08 p.m.
my valentines flower!!!!! kekekee..... given to my by the 'he says his so damn handsome' titus!!!!! hahahhaa Sunday, February 13, 2005 @ 5:24 p.m.
.: bo0 :. cny is so borinG!!!!!!! except the angbao money, everything else is boring... gamble, den lost money... every single time leh!!!!!!!! ppl play, can win, no matter how i play, i also lose... the onli time i won, is when we played in sch.... win enuff, but lost it again at loy's house.... arGH!!!!! muz be that damn dog.... so wadever... shouldn't have went... wahahhaa... after going loy's house on fri, went to my aunt house at nite.... gamble again, n lost 5.50... not much la... but i hate the fact that i lost!!!! den sat donavan n his parents came over 4 lunch... hahhaa... had fun playing wif him... haven seen him 4 sometimes, n really miss him so much... how can a 7 year old noe so much, n be so damn cUTE!!!!! den my mum n dad's old fren came.... my mum's sec sch fren... noe each other 4 like 32 years le.... wa lao... so long le lo... den they started toking bout the gd old days... den i juz sit infront of them, n almost cleared all the tidbits that we have... eat so much until when its dinner time, im too full to eat anything le, so i continue eating the cake.... its so lucky of me to have a mum hu can make anything i like to eat... im so lucky!!!! hahhahahaa... den went to visit my grandmum, n they started to gamble again... played a lil, den knew my luck la.... so give up playing, n let my mum have my last dollar.... de went to watch new police story... den my uncle won 1000 from mahjong.... de treated us to kfc, n pizza hut.... den eat eat eat again.... once again, im last... den finish up all the food, n went back to watching the show.... den after watching, play again.... by then, my dad's luck low le, den won back all that i lost... came home, n hide in the room watch long feng dou or smth.... the andy lau, n sammi cheng show.... quite nice la... watch until 2 smth alost 3 den slp..... suppose to wake up at 8.45 to go IMM wif my mum, but overslep, den she never wake me up also... but never mind la.... den watch 13 going on 30 again.... hahaha... nice shows.... kekeke... my uncle bought from m'sia... 20 pieces... den we took some home to watch.. think can juz slack at home, den can watch until my eyes rot, also haven finish r... cos still got the a date wif a vampire haven start..... haiZ.... tml is valentines day le... once again, i chooes to be alone??? y like that??? found myself a lil silly la.... but its all too late... tml is the day le... n im going to stay at home juz like the past 2 years, n njoy watching my tv!!!! kekeke... or maybe last min i found someone to go out wif???? kekeke.... which is highly immpossible... wahhahaha.... but im glad... no need spend money... cos im on a 2.50 tight budget!!!! anyways, to those hu have a date tml, njoy urself!!!!!!!!!! Monday, February 07, 2005 @ 11:29 p.m.
.: wads wrong?!?!?!??!!!!!!! :. where is everyone?? all my chatting khaki is missing... all gone missing.... msn broke down?? bu ke neng r.... im online wad.... bO0~!!!! anyways, happy CNY everyone!!!!!!!! Saturday, February 05, 2005 @ 3:00 p.m.
it was a gd daY.. in the mrn, i woke up late... suppose to leave home at bout 7... but left onli at bout 7.40.... damn late lo.... boarded the bus, n its so dammn fuLL!!!!!!! manage to queeze a small place 4 myself.. den juz stood there, stoning... saw a couple of farmiliar faces... not that i noe them, but i seems to see them almost everytime i take 157... and 2 of them, from BB ITE, is so damn gd looking... i declare that they r 100% hunk!!!!! den i saw a person looking at me... this guy that i see almost everyday.... so farmiliar, yet so dunno hu..... so as usual, i ignore... hahaha.... turn out to be collin... my fri sch fren.... i think im juz so blur... cant reconize ppl, nvm, still cannot rmb seeing them.... kekeke... told him to call out to me, if he sees me in the bus.... cos im damn blur in the mrn... after the maths paper, we went over to taka 4 seoul gardens... yumyum... haven njoyed 4 such a long time... really very fun... was eating eatig away, den went over to far east, cos jy wans to buy ear studs, n i wanted to buy a pair of jeans... den we spilt up in 3 groups.. the gambling group, the ear studs group, n the jeans group... jason led yf astray!!!! treach him how to gamble, den go buy scratch it... think spent 7, n never win anything... sad case... n well, i tried on 3 pairs of jeans, n it all fitted very well... but as usual, i asked 4 1 size bigger, so that it can be looser... hahhaa.. i rather wear a belt, den the wear a pair of jeans, that looks like its wrapping on ur legs, n tighs, n making it look real weird.. thats wad i think la... it will look weird... den i decided that since i got myself jeans, its time i get another belT!!! kekeke... so went into 77th street... saw a nice belt that ben says its really nice.... but decided to wait 4 the opinion of the others... den went to zinc... wanted to get a bag 4 myself, n in the end, ben got a bag... its really damn cool lo.... it is gonna fit his new set of clothes!!!!! damn cool..... i think la... but... wad others say, i dunno.... but still, im supportive... so ben, if 1 day u decided that that bag is not suitable 4 u u always have me!!! u can give it to me, or sell to me.... i dun mind paying 10 bucks 4 it... den i went back to the shop, n ask 4 opinion... well, all say its nice, so a bought it!!!! never gonna regret it.. kekeke... den since all r leaving, den after that yf meeting jasmine, den jason meeting his frens, so i went home.. nth to do mah... they sure go play those guys things, den no fun de... anyway, things started to turn out bad at home... my mum wanted to get the bank books to update, n sohappen to see mine... oh no... cos im not suppose to withdraw wifout her permission, n i already took out quite alot le... den she saw, n started going mad... im dead.... my mum's gonna kill me... but the gd thing is that she din tell my dad, if not im going to die real soon..... i've decided to put all that im gonna get 4 cny into the bank.... i gotta feed bzack some money.... although its very lil, but still there is an improvement... den i have to hand 30 bucks to my mum every month.... save keeping... in case my dad finds out, my mum will help me...(i guess) n 4 myself, im gonna save bout 20 bucks every month...which means after concession, savings, i onli have bout 78 bucks to spend... n i onli can eat bout 2.50 per day... but thats a gd thing... i can lose weight, n save at the same time... boo~!! anyway, my mood is like som roller coaster... it goes up, den down, den round n round.... sometimes im juz that hyper active person jumping ard, den running n playing n creating a mess of everything,,, den the next moment, i can keep very quite, den start to stone... den no mood, den feel like slping le.. im such a pig leh!!! grr... so sian... sometimes i think y did love every started? y would any one wants to be in love.... it brings u onli a short moment of happiness... den it brings u trouble, den sorrow, den heart ache... wads the point?? izzint it better if u noe nth bout love, n wont fall in love, den wont feel sad, den like that perfect, everyone can be happy.... okies, im gonna start to crap again..... it feels horible to stay at home n do nth.... i think im going to slp soon.... njoy the comfort of my bed, n let the world go round, as i take my wonderful wonderful nap... COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wahahhaa.... okies ZzzZzz le..... -wish everyone will remind me that i can onli spend 2.50 a day!!!!! n remind me that i cant buy clothes!!! i cant go n spend money like its free!!!!!! lend a hand, n help!!!!- Friday, February 04, 2005 @ 6:25 p.m.
and this, is one of the 3 shots i took of myself!!!!!! hehehe.. bz disturbing the rest wad... guess they all njoyed my food... wahahhahaaa @ 6:23 p.m.
this is not a candid shoT!!!! hahahaha... they actually posed 4 this shot.... quite vain hor?? kekeke @ 6:22 p.m.
this is the mess that ben created alone!!!!! all by himself... see la, he dun even now how to eat properly, eat until the whole table so messy!!!! all the prawn shells all over.... yukE!!!! @ 6:21 p.m.
looks like so hungry ghost eating lo.... hahhaa... they r eating non stoP!!!! need some pranks ard!! @ 6:20 p.m.
the disgusting food that i cooked!!!! wahhahaha... dipped in raw eggs, n ginseng chicken soup many many times, by diggin into the chilli... gross, but thats 4 zhong ji mi mah... wahhaha.... jason at it!!! kekeke @ 6:18 p.m.
wads wrong dude!!!!! 0.o @ 6:17 p.m.
okies this is the do do ben.... he trying to act cute.. but u noe... wahhahaa... his not!!!! @ 6:16 p.m.
 shot of the heart above our tables... artistic shot by jieying!!!!! @ 6:15 p.m.
jieying n diy n joing the food.. fun at seoul gardens!!!! @ 6:14 p.m.
look at that~!!!!!! dirty, n over flowing.... alwaysd the guy's table.. wahahhaha @ 6:12 p.m.
a series of pictures im my blog todae...
thats me n my sis!!!!!! cooL huh?!?! kekeke.... Thursday, February 03, 2005 @ 9:16 p.m.
The 5 secret sexual signals that someone is flirting with you 1. The flirting triangle When we look at people we're not close to (in a business situation for instance), our eyes make a zigzag motion: we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose. With friends, the look drops below eye level and moves into a triangle shape: we look from eye to eye but also look down to include the nose and mouth. Once we start flirting, the triangle gets even bigger - it widens at the bottom to include the the body. The more intense the flirting, the more intensely we'll look from one eye to eye - and the more time we'll spend looking at their mouth. If someone is watching your mouth while you're talking to them, it's very, very sexy because you can't help but think I wonder if they're imagining what it would be like to kiss me. Which is usually exactly what they are thinking, if they're looking intently at your mouth! 2. Mirroring This is what separates a good flirt from a great flirt: nothing will bond you more instantly or effectively than mirroring someone's behavior. This simply means you do whatever it is they do. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you take a sip of your drink and do the same. They sit with their chin cupped in their hands, so do you. The idea behind mirroring is that we like people who are like us. If someone is doing what we're doing, we feel they're on the same level as us and in the same mood as we are. Two no-no's with this one though: only mirror positive body language; and secondly, capture the spirit rather than imitating them like a monkey at the zoo. As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures. 3. The eyebrow flash When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they are equally attracted to us, they raise their eyebrows in return. Never noticed? It's not surprising since the whole thing lasts about a fifth of a second!We're not consciously aware of doing it, but it's a gesture that is duplicated by every culture on earth. In fact, some experts claim it's the most instantly recognized non-verbal sign of friendly greeting in the world. The trick is to watch for it when you meet someone new you are interested in. Even better, tell them you're interested on a subconscious level by extending your eyebrow flash for up to one second - deliberately raise them while catching their eye for full impact. 4. Pointing Sneak a peek at what their feet and hands are doing - we tend to point toward the person we're interested in. If we find someone attractive, we'll often point at them subconsciously with our hands arms, feet, legs, toes. Again, it's an unconscious indicator to make our intentions known. Unconsciously, this is often picked up by the other person, without them really knowing why. So if you've got your eye on the individual in the corner, point your body in their direction - even if you don't make eye contact, they'll get the hint you're interested. 5. Blinking If someone likes what they see, their pupil size increases and so does their blink rate. If you want to up the odds in your favor, try increasing the blink rate of the person you're talking to, by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they'll unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other! Now, one final word before you go rushing off to the nearest bar to practice all this. Before you go, you must understand... kinda true la..... can go n try, but wadever it is, take gd care of ur precious bodY!!!! wahahhahaa... @ 8:40 p.m.
i hate it maN!!!! i hate it man!!!!! i type all nice nice le, den its all gone!!!!!!! shit shit shit helL!!!!!! anyway, todae is BCA paper.... went in wif 0 knowledge of the paper, n hope 4 the best... 20 mins later, im lying on my table, slping le.... slp until i also dunno 1 hr le... den went over the bukit timah 4 chicken rice!!!!! hmm.. not bad la... its 4.10 per person including drinks... quite worth it leh... den went back to sch to watch movie... watch the iron giant, n the mask.... im still luffing over all those silly things after watchin it 4 so many donkey times... n i saw him todae!!!! after dunno how many months of not meeting, i saw him again at the lib. it made me think of him all over again... he is the kind of guys hu is perfect!!!! not as in my prefect dream guy la.... but a great catch.... he is very tall, average looking, n has a heart of gold... very kind n understanding too!!!!! the kinda guy that will make me melt... but den again, its not gonna be possible between us... we've been through so much, n in the end we never gonna be together, n losing contact too... hoep he will be going on sat... at least noe how is he coming along, n at least keep in touch lo... have meet him n the rest of the guys 4 a long time le..... altough the hyper days r bad, but i went through it, n i miss it sometimes... but after so long... n really very long, i miss him!!!!!! the times of toking on the phoen until late into the night, n him singing playing his guiter, n singing to me... okies... gotta 4get 4get 4get!!!!!!! but its tough... he left too many footsteps/footprints im my heart.... but i will try... divert my attention!!!! tml going corchard 4 seoul gardens... its gonna be a great gathering... haven eaten nice food wif them 4 a long time le.... last time got money, can go fish & co., can go sushi tei.. now seoul garden is the best choice le..... okies, i better stop... iwll continue to dream bout me that price charming.... cant believe someone can capture my heart, n hold onto it 4 so long.... -wake up from dreamland kiM!!!!!!!! nth in the world is 4ever!!!!!! ever like can le... he ever like u can le... no need 4 long de!!! "zi yuan chen jing yong you, bu zhai hu tian chang di jiu" - "wish that we ever have, not bother to have to 4ever.." - @ 8:40 p.m.
taken when i was helping su wif filming... the ger beside me is the director, n the other guys is the main actor... Tuesday, February 01, 2005 @ 7:31 p.m.
.: sobZ soBz im going thru pain!!!!!! i cant eat properly, i cant srink properly, i cant even tok wofout feeling pain!!!!!!!! my teeth is hurting like mad now.... its been almost 1 yer since i experience pain when i tighten my braces.... n its killing me now.... its like im goin thru extraction all over again wifout the ma bi zhen....juz like senior doctor did to me... pluck wifout me being numb... sob sobZ.... it really so painful.... it causing me to have a terrible headache... n its not getting better wif my mum's chicken drumstick 4 dinner, n i cant even njoy it.... i found that i should stop toking sense from now.... cos no one believe wad i says.... i tok cock den its not so hurtful, cos no one suppose to believe... but when im saying facts, its a waste of my breath, my intelligence, n my mood.... from know on, dun say i dun tell u anything! im gonna be that selfish bitch that u see on tv, keep onli the gd stuff 4 myself... im BORN SELFISH!!! or izzit me? i think i gotta heed my dad's advice... he told me lat nite that as we grow up, wadever u see on the surface, is not wad it actually going on.... u pass by this road in the past, n rmb that u knock ur head, n fell down there.... u dun do the same things again, but rmb that u've made a mistake at that spot... he told me that wadever character u r, u make the same kinda frens... but its always wise, n advisible to stop, n take a look at the wads going on.... it may sound hyporcrite, but life is like that.... 4 some, u treat them nice, they treat u nice back.... but some, u treat them nice, they climb over ur head, n push u down, n step on u, making it difficult 4 u to stand up again.... im always thinking of such stuff these few days..... the happiest part of my life now, is when im helping my mum wif her cookies... altohugh its onli a short period of time a day, but its a time 4 me to reflect, n to think of the ever so silly things that always do... got this fren whom im not close wif, but known 4 a long time.... he told me that im dumb.... i play, yet when others play too much, i juz luff it off.... y din i say stop or anything,,, den he say that if u wan to stop, den u urself have to stop.... yeah!!!! i noe... i think i need to cool off, n think.... im having CT now, n im thinking of all these stupid stuff... having a terrible sore on my cheek, n back of my head..... headache but dun dare to tell my mum... she sure scold me de.... enver take care of myself... so old le, dunno how to think.... i juz wish i can be treated like a kid, n everything will be so peaceful, n gd.... i can slp early, n wake up late, dun have to go dentist, n have my teeth tighten every month.... damn it... toking bout my teeth... i so bloody regret putting on braces.... becos of that 2 teeth that is sticking out,those 'tiger' teeth... i wont have to suffer.... 4 my future, n the gd of myself...(my dad say de.. smth bout fortune telling) i went through 1 n 1/2 year of suffering, n torture.... its killing me.... im getting so so so so so so so so so so........ fustrated when ever im on my way home.... maybe its the sun.... but i feel like venting my fustration on someone or smth.... i haven lost my temper 4 a long time.... even pauline says that i changed.... i rmb her telling me that..... i use to get angry easily... but now, i get depressed more den angry... but if i get angry too often its sickening.... no one in poly everseen the way i lost my temper.... juz like when i scolded louis.... arGH!!!!!! maybe i'll feel better if i cry out loud, or scream at smth or someone.... maybe it will ease that knot tied in my chest.... i need it out, fast!!!!!! okies okies... enuff of wadever.... anyways, a blog is not such a gd idea after all..... pl read ur post, n when ur mood is better, they luff at wad u think..... fuck it man....maybe screaming out at a tree will be better.... at least that tree will not scold me back... it will juz stand there, n let me scold.... maybe it will look nicer after absorbing all my unhappiness..... huai bei shang wei li liang.... hmm... dunno correct phrase anot la... but wadever... -show my palm- tok to my hand dude!!!! my face doesn't wanna hear it anymore!!!!!!!! |
